Following in the footsteps of giants

A catchy title to be sure, but not sure where to go with it. Tonight's post is a struggle for me. A writer's block has approached and won't let go. After yesterday's post, my wife (Jess) read it and told me it was my best yet. I think that put a psychological vice around my brain. I write about perfection and write my best post to date? How depressingly ironic.

Years ago, Jess and I took an amazing acting class in Ottawa based on the Strasberg method acting style. I can say that that several months of classes changed my life forever. Being surrounded and challenged by my peers pushed me to new levels of looking at who I really am underneath all the bullshit that accumulates throughout our lives to survive. It was here that I learned that in order to overcome our fears and roadblocks we must express them out loud and make them real. By outing that I was affected by my wife's praise, creating an internal pressure within me to push forward and strive to be better than yesterday, I can admit it and learn to move on. But where to move on to?

I think the biggest take-away from this mental exchange with myself is that not every day has to be better than the last. Before starting my post today I was scrambling to find something profound to talk about in order to compete with yesterday's post, but thats not the goal or reason for any of this. I must remind myself of this fact every day. As soon as I began to think of my writing as an outlet for others rather than myself I lost my way. I guess that's what happens to artists in it just for the money. They lose a part of themselves and their true potential. Or maybe they're just born corporate whores able to manipulate the masses for their own narcissistic endeavours. I'm not cynical or anything...

My main takeaway is that creating new content outside of myself every day is not realistic at this juncture in my life. I work eight hours a day detailing houses with little creative output or inspiration in that line of work. I do have the luxury of being able to listen to podcasts that sometimes educate and inspire me to new realms of thinking, but eventually you have to put the horse before the cart and do the hard work.