The First Step is the Greatest

Back to war. It's a battle of attrition this time. Lots to talk about this time. I guess that makes sense since it's been over a freakin year since I wrote anything!! Wow, that time has flown by.

I'm a father now so that happened... I guess that will take up a chunk of your life. Getting into productive routines can be difficult and I feel as if Jess and I (especially me) are ready to begin that arduous task. Once again unto the breach. Our new medium term goal is to escape the mundanity of modern society and purchase a camper/sprinter van and live out of that with our daughter and dog, travelling the landscape. How we get there is the hard part. The journey is the interesting part and breaking bad patterns of behaviour is the first step in finding success. For too long now I have fallen prey to the addictions and predilections of modern convenience, falling back into video games and simple novel dopamine hits.

For the last year I have once again worked for the same construction company in Ottawa and I have finally found some respite in paternal leave to collect my thoughts and create a new game plan. The challenge now is to create my own routine, develop my business in carpentry and prioritize my processes towards my goals. What are my goals?

1. Rebrand my website to a "stickier" name

2. Advertise/market in my area and accept more leads

3. Follow up with current leads

4. Stick to a schedule - Bed time by 10:30, sleep by 11. Wakeup at 7, breakfast by 8:30. Begin with this and work it into habit.

5. Communicate - If I need time to work on business, communicate with Jess that I need time away from distraction to get it done.

6. Focus - Distractions in the modern age are common and powerful. Staying mentally strong in battling the persuasion of wasting hours watching pointless videos and reading unproductive articles is key to keeping my eye on the prize.

Focusing on these goals for now will allow me to start down the path towards my ultimate goal. Now it's time to take the first step.

I stopped writing because I got lazy and figured I had nothing else to say, but that is just resistance and fear. I only have 5 minutes left to write since I have relegated myself to a strict bed-time schedule but that is all I need to be successful. Sticking it out until the end is it's own small victory. I just finished reading the last post I published and I really impressed myself. My capabilities when putting the work in and sticking with it are admirable and my past self makes me want to be a better future self. I will continue to battle the resistance within myself and push forward one day at a time. It may be scary but we will fight that fear and do it anyway.

Streaming is something I battle with as a vocation. I think in all honesty it's an excuse to entertain my addictions more than a real passion. Well if that's the case there is nothing else to write. You just played yourself. I guess so, that'll do pig, that'll do. So the focus shall be on carpentry then? Or is this all a sham concocted by my subconscious to resist my real true calling? WHICH IS THE REAL ME? These are the questions of our age. Who will win? Find out next week on DRAGON BALL ZZZZZZ......zzzzzz......ZZZZZ.....enough of the silly stuff, lets get back to business. You need to goof to find the genius, they aren't mutually exclusive. There won't be any profound thoughts today. This is just the first day back, what did you expect? Of course you're going to get masturbatory thought patterns. Gotta get the ego out of the work to find the truth nuggets. The golden Midas nuggets within the shit sandwich. Stop talking dude... jesus christ (almighty, praise Him). Stupid app wants me to capitalize jesus. Not gonna Do It.

Enough of the silly spam. Getting back to what matters. Video games!!!! My eternal addiction. The real productive action is the focus on my carpentry business (I'm 3 minutes over my schedule!) and I agree with that. But a part of me wants both worlds. The success in the socially accepted vocation but the dreamer/rebel/pioneer in me wants to be a "famous" internet celebrity, I guess that's just a sign of the times. Kids these days getting influenced by all that darn rap music and rock and roll. At the end of the day all you have to go on are your instincts and I've lost mine. I think It's time to start meditating again. Finding my true "feelings" on the subject will do me good in finding a true direction. Perhaps the addiction is fighting back to stay in the game and once I leave it behind I won't need it anymore. That would be nice I think. Tis a gift to be simple...right? I guess I haven't really come to a conclusion on the topic like I had hoped through writing but perhaps this is the first step.

Breathe buddy. Life doesn't have to be this serious. The dichotomy of the mind is palpable. Focus on gratitude and simplicity and you will find your way. Take your own advice.